Akane couldn't help feeling that something was wrong. It was like she was empty, like something was missing, or different. The feeling started the night she had the dream about Ranma dying. That was the same night it took Kasumi an hour and a half to calm her down, after she had woken up screaming and crying. She didn't want to admit it to herself, or anyone else for that matter, but she missed him in the time he had been gone. She had been furious at him for leaving without telling he-...them but she realized that if he had, Shampoo and Ukyou would have found out and tried to go and that would have been a disaster. In this case secrecy was the best policy.

Her heart jumped when she answered the phone and heard his familiar voice on the line.

"Hey Akane." He started, hesitantly.

"Ranma, where are you?" She replied, her voice nearly betraying her feelings. "You’ve missed a lot of school you know."

"I'm in China," he told her, his voice quiet. "I went back to the training grounds."

"And?" She asked hopefully

"I failed." The depression in his voice was so evident that it seemed palpable.

"Oh, Ranma, I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He told her.

"Well, I know what a cure means to you. I know how much you hate your curse."

"I think it's time I realized there may not be a cure for me. I’ve tried so many, and they’ve all failed, it’s time I got on with my life Akane."

"But..."

"Listen, I really don’t feel up to your pity right now. I'm not in the mood. I’ll talk to you when I get back" he finished as the phone was disconnected.

"Ranma?" She asked "Are you still there? You JERK!" She slammed the phone back onto it’s carriage, then ran up the stairs.

Kasumi found her in her room a while later, crying again. This time it just took a little consoling to calm the girl down. She cried into her older sister's shoulder while babbling on about how much she had missed him and how he was such a jerk. Unflappable Kasumi took it all in stride.

"Akane, you're angry at him one moment and crying because you missed him the next." she said while getting up from the bed. "I know how upset he makes you sometimes, but don't you think it's time you tried to make this relationship work?" She finished as she left the room, leaving the youngest Tendou to think.

================================================

The days passed as they normally do in Nerima, Akane running the gauntlet of boys at school who thought Ranma had left, Kunou spouting awful poetry until being launched into LEO from a well placed kick, Nabiki blackmailing half the school while selling Ukyou, Shampoo, and Kodachi incorrect information on Ranma’s location. Ryouga stayed lost, Genma ate, Soun cried, a lot. It was almost normal. With one exception, the cog which normally held this circle of distracting events together was gone, and the other gears were growing restless. Finally the day Ranma was supposed to come home arrived, and the confusion was set to rise a notch..

================================================

Akane was doing her homework. Well... attempting to, at least. Her concentration was shot as thoughts of a certain pig tailed martial artist ran through her heard "Why didn't you tell me, you jerk" she sighed. "I could have gone with you, could have helped you." It was then that she once again realized how much of a stumbling block his curse was to their relationship, not to mention his own life. She knew that almost all of the problems in his life stemmed from the curse. Shampoo coming to Japan, along with Mousse and Cologne, had nearly cost him his manhood. Kunou’s obsession with his "pigtailed goddess" had ruined many a day for him. Kodachi had tried to kidnap him dozens of times. The humiliation of his first real kiss coming from Mikado Sanzenin. The groupings from Happosai... the list went on and on. The same things that often caused Akane to blow up and attack him,

"Funny," She though. "I can hit him with my mallet every time, but Shampoo’s bonbori are almost the same and he always is able to get out of the way from those. I wonder..." But her train of thought was not to be to be completed as she was broken from her reverie by an annoyingly familiar voice speaking in broken Japanese.

"Nihao! Ranma come back to take Shampoo on date?" Shampoo squealed

"No, Shampoo, get off. I just want to go home." Ranma's voice protested as always.

"SAOTOME! How dare you seduce my beloved like that!" Mousse demanded a second later.

"It’s not what you think Mousse." Ranma’s reply shot back.

"Go away stupid Mousse! Airen taking Shampoo on date"

"No, I'm not! Get off Shampoo!"

Akane had heard enough! That two timing jerk was letting Shampoo hang all over him again. Pulling her mallet out she jumped out the window and ran into the road. Seeing her fiancé fending off Mousse with a certain purple locked amazon clinging onto his leg infuriated her.

"RANMA!!" She bellowed

The person in question looked at her with hope in his eyes, hope that was quickly replaced with fear as her infamous mallet came crashing down on his head. Mousse, mistaking a passing car for Ranma, ran off in the general direction of the Nekohanten shouting for him to come back and accept his punishment..

"Shampoo, you hussy! Can't you leave him alone?" The short haired tower of terror asked. "And Ranma, at least you can do is try to get her off of you."

"Why violent girl attack husband?" Shampoo responded.

"I'm not your husband!" a weak voice rose off the ground.

"SHUT UP RANMA!" the girls bellowed, punctuated by a tag team tossing of Ranma into the Koi pond. A wet and depressed Ranma-Chan pulled herself out of the pond and entered the house.

"Oh, hello Ranma." Kasumi greeted him. "How was your trip?"

"Fine." She mumbled. "Where's Pop and Mr. Tendou?"

"Father and Uncle Saotome went to a bar. They should be gone for several hours."

"Thanks. Oh, a friend of mine may be coming by in a few days to talk to Pop. I wanted to tell you now so if he came while I wasn’t home and it wouldn’t be too much of a surprise."

"All right, are you feeling okay Ranma?" She asked, worried about the pain evident in his eyes.

"Yeah, just a little tired. I think I'll go lie down."

"Okay, would you like me to fix some tea for you?" The eldest sister offered.

"Nah, I’ll be fine."

Ranma climbed the stairs to her bedroom, rubbing her head and grumbling. "Uncute tomboy, why'd she hit me so hard."

"Because she was jealous." a small voice in his head replied.

"Yeah, right. Like I'd actually do anything with Shampoo."

"She doesn't realize that. All she can see is Shampoo hanging on you. A mixture of love and unholy rage can blind a person to the truth." The voice replied with a bit of humor in it’s voice.

"Unholy rage I can understand, but she doesn't love me. She's said it so much even I believe her." His voice dropped while saying this.

"But do you love her?"

"What did you mean by that?" But the voice was silent.

"AAHH! God damn! I hate that!" She yelled as she entered the guest room and dropped her bag. Looking at the futon she realized she was too tense to sleep. "I'm too wound up to take a nap now. Maybe a little bit of a workout will help." She told herself as she left for the bathroom for some hot water.

================================================

Akane’s impromptu match had ended when Shampoo realized Ranma had left. She turned and began to walk back to the Nekohanten, looking back over her shoulder and glaring at her rival once or twice.

"Shampoo come back to finish off violent girl and save husband later." She yelled when she was almost out of sight. Akane toyed with the idea of chasing after her but shoved it out of her mind when she remembered why they were fighting, Ranma was back. Turning back to the house, she shut the gates once inside. Almost to the house she heard the music. It was too fast and hard to be anything her sisters listen to. She was out here so that it eliminated herself.

"It’s got to be Ranma, Dad doesn’t have any students right now." She realized. "Maybe I should go talk to him. He looked kinda depressed before I hammered him." She was almost at the doors before she could make out any lyrics.

"< The man of a thousand retirements

Will always be the one who tells you when to quit

I won’t take stock in a withered man

I’m reaching into you, I’ll make you understand.>"(1)

She entered to see Ranma doing what seeming to be a new kata, it was fast and aggressive with some new moves. Dropping her mallet into her pocket dimension she sat and watched. The kata seemed a little weird, something about it seemed dreadfully wrong. She had been watching for a good five minutes when she realized that his form were sloppy. It was like he had not practiced the art in years, he seemed to be having problems with attacks she knew he had mastered years before arriving at the dojo. While doing a Dragon tail Ranma had nearly lost his balance and had to struggle to keep from falling down. Akane was shocked, she had seen him perform that move a hundred times and he never even shifted his position on the way back up. Another realization hit her suddenly, he hadn’t noticed her yet. She had never been able to sneak up on him, and now he had been working on his new kata for a good ten minutes without even a word. He normally talked to her even in the middle of the form, and he always acknowledged her presence as soon as she got within five feet. Then, while trying to link an elbow thrust with a side kick, it happened. The kick started off correct, his left foot sliding as his right leg extended and his upper body angled down. However, he overextended his leg during the thrust, and it threw his body off balance. The next thing Akane knew Ranma’s head was impacting with the dojo floor and his eyes closed as he lost conscious thought.

"RANMA!" Akane screamed.

================================================

Ranma didn't see Akane entering the dojo, since he was too far into his kata to notice her presence. He was frustrated, ever since his accident he had been sloppy in his forms. He had improved with practice, but in his currant state his rivals would have no problem beating the tar out of him. He had been spotted by Ryouga outside of town and the only thing that had saved him was the timely intervention of a water balloon that had been tossed from a nearby lot, turning both of them into their cursed forms. With the change in perspective the lost boy.. pig had done his thing quite quickly. Then Kunou glommed onto him outside a public bathroom as he was trying to get hot water, spouting poetry and promises of pain and torture to the "Vile Saotome". If not for the fact it was Kunou who he was attacking, Ranma might have had a problem getting off without injury. And topping off his day, Shampoo tackled him in front of the dojo, Mousse attacked him, and Akane did her version of Hammer Time. Working on his new kata had allowed him to calm down, but his senses were off, he seemed unable to sense the presence of others, normally the only people who could do that were Doc Tofu and the old ghoul. He shrugged it off as an after effect of stress and tension. His lack of skill became evident when he came close to losing his balance during a Dragon tail.

"Maybe you should stop before you hurt yourself Ranma." The voice wondered.

"No!" Ranma’s thought snapped back. "If I don’t get back up to speed there’s no way I can protect myself, let alone Akane. I’ve got to practice."

"Well, at least could you at least keep both feet on the ground? That way you won’t hurt yourself if you mess it up."

"All right." he conceded. "One more kick, and then I’ll stick to the ground maneuvers."

But it was too late, after performing an elbow thrust he attempted to link it with a quick side kick. Like anyone who was experienced in an art, he knew he had made a error as soon as he started. He overextended his leg in the upthrust. An attempt to compensate by stopping his forward momentum failed. He fell backwards, his head striking the floor of the dojo. The last thing he saw before the darkness enveloped him was the shocked face of Akane, sitting on the floor by the entrance.

"Oh no." The voice sighed. "Now she’s gonna know something’s wrong." Then... nothing.

================================================

Pain flared and consciousness was lost. Past events were replayed as though he was outside of the event. His entire life was shown to him from the outside, and he regretted much of what he had done. A sudden flash of light and he was standing in a field that stretched as far as the eye could see.

"where am i?" He asked, amazed at how weak his voice was.

"You are in what some call Purgatory." A voice rang out from the void.

"Why?" He asked, regaining strength in his voice.

"Because you have to be processed before you may proceed to the next level. And I don’t have much time, we have a special person coming up."

"Who?"

"Were getting a Televangelist."

"What’s so big about that?"

"We’ve never had one before...." The voice trailed off as another interrupted it

"Wake up! She’s getting worried man. I know you can hear me....."

"Ah, I see now. You are one of the few who can visit here in a dream. Sadly someone else needs you now, we will talk again." The first voice interjected. "But forget this place. You will remember this only when needed. Goodbye traveler. It’s time for you to wake."

================================================

As the darkness faded, a dull, throbbing pain slowly emerged as he regained thought. A pounding in his skull reminded him of how he was knocked out.

"....hear me. RANMA! Wake up! Wake up you SMEGHEAD!" The voice in his head screamed.

"Ranma, please wake up." Akane’s voice pleaded at the same time. "Please wake up."

"akane?" Ranma asked, his voice weak. "What happened? Did Ryouga finally get lucky and beat me?" He was still disoriented, so he didn’t notice that he was being cradled in Akane’s arms and she was rocking him back and forth asking him to wake up. He sat up, rubbing his head. Not noticing Akane wiping the tears out of her eyes.

"No, you fell and hit your head..

"Oh." He exclaimed, getting up and heading towards his belongings.

"But your head’s so thick only a fall off Tokyo tower would faze you." She joked, a smirk on her face. She hoped he would laugh with her at the joke and ease the tension a bit

"Look, Akane. If all you're gonna do is insult me then I'm gonna leave." he snapped at her, taking the joke the wrong way.

Akane growled, a blue tint appearing in the air around her, but Ranma was gathering his things so didn't see her anger. "RANMA!" she yelled.

"What?" he sighed, turning around. A look of sadness and loss in his eyes dispelling her anger.

"Are you okay?" She asked, his look making her feel guilty for yelling at him.

"Yeah, I just don't feel like fighting today, that's all." he

started. "I had a hard time getting back into town. Ryouga jumped me, Kunou stopped me when I was trying to get some hot water, and then there was that thing with Shampoo and Mousse."

"I'm sorry." She apologized, looking sheepish. "Um, uh, so what was that music you were listening too?" She asked, trying to relive the increasing tension in the air.

"Oh, just a tape I found on the trip. Got a bunch of different bands on it, mostly English speaking." He responded, looking away from her

"I thought your English wasn't too good?"

"Yeah, I just listen to the music. I ignore the vocals."

"Why did you lose your balance?" She asked, finally being able to get the question out.

"I don’t know," He lied, not wanting her to know the truth just yet. "I haven’t been feeling too well the past few days, it could be the flu or something."

"Maybe you should go see Doctor Tofu. If you’re sick you should be checked out." Akane offered, her concern hidden behind a neutral tone.

"Maybe you’re right." He muttered.

"You know she’s right. Maybe Tofu can give you something to help you with your coordination?"

"Maybe, NO!" He thought back. "No one needs to know. I can handle this on my own. What if Kunou or Ryouga found out I was weak? They’d never let me have any peace."

"Ranma?" Akane asked, noticing his distance from the conversation. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I’m just tired. I’ve been gone for a while Akane, I think I’m gonna go for a walk for a bit. Okay?"

"Okay," She replied. "But I want to talk to you later."

"All right." He finished, heading out of the dojo and leaving

Akane in the middle of the dojo.

"What happened to you Ranma? You seem so different." Akane whispered, not meaning for him to hear.

"I don’t know," He whispered back. "I really don’t know"

================================================

Ranma paused by the back gate of the yard and leaned on the wall, his head resting on his crossed arms. He regretted leaving like that. That was the first time he had really seen her in over a month, even though she was in her dreams almost every night. "Why does this have to be so hard?" he asked no one in particular, slamming his head against the dojo wall.

"You know why, and you could fix it very easily."

"Yeah, but SHE always hits me whenever I do anything to get close to her. She thinks I'm trying to trick her or something. It’s so damn hard!"

"But haven't you done some things that you deserve to be hit for?" The voice questioned. "Like when you introduced Ukyou to her as your ‘Cute Fiancée’?"

"Yeah, but I can't do it anymore. I sick of the fighting, the

pain, the lies, sick of everything. Why did it take my own death to make me realize what pain I was causing her?" He wondered, pulling his shirt aside and glancing at the faint scar over his heart.

"Because in the finale moments before death some people gain a clarity of vision that they lack in their lives. They view the events of their existence from outside of the physical form and...."

"PLEASE! You’re giving me a headache!" He complained, rubbing his temples. "This metaphysical bullshit is way over my head. I still can’t see why I can’t tell anyone what happened?"

"How would someone react to you telling them you were shot and brought back to life? You’d be pawed over like you were a new species of life."

"Yeah, and the people who didn’t want to dissect me would do nothing but pity me. I can’t stand pity!!" He began to slam his head against the wall, in the vain hope that if he lost consciousness his problems would be solved. As he wandered out the gate, he stopped and looked around the yard, as if taking in the view for the last time before heading down the road. With his senses dulled, he didn’t even notice the person who trailed him along his journey.

================================================

Ranma’s path was erratic, he followed no specific path with the exception of skipping by the Nekohanten and the street where the Kunous lived. When his rambling brought him to the school, he entered the yard. As it was late afternoon, the yard was empty. "Huh, I guess no one stays here much later than I do. Maybe I should start to pay some more attention in classes?" He mumbled, not really asking a question.

"It would help. Perhaps asking Akane for help would be nice?"

"Yeah, maybe it would" He replied with a slight smile on his face. Seeing Ms. Hinako coming out of the main gate, Ranma decided it was time to leave hoping she didn’t see him. However, his wish was not to be granted.

"Saotome? You delinquent, where have you been for all that time?" She asked, her question unheard by the subject in question. "Answer ME! Oh, I hate when people ignore me. Maybe I should do a home visit. At least that way he can’t ignore me." She sighed, looking skyward for a few seconds before reverting to her child form and skipping towards her apartment.

================================================

Ranma walked the streets of Nerima, stopping every once and a while to examine a specific building or landmark. He finally stopped in front of Ukyou's shop.

"And here's The Ucchan." He sighed.

"Well now, shall we get some lunch?" The voice asked

apprehensively.

"Sure," he responded nervously as he entered the shop, "Why don't we." Suddenly Ranma was nearly brought to the floor by a speeding projectile.

"RANCHAN!" Ukyou squealed "Where have you been?"

"Uh, I, Uh, Ucchan, I can't breath!" The boy wheezed

"Affectionate isn’t she?"

"Sorry," she apologized as she released the glomp. "I got carried away. You've been gone for over a month. I was worried about you. So, um, you want some lunch?"

"Yeah, sure." Ranma replied as he sat at the counter.

Many of the male customers looked at Ranma with thinly veiled anger as they noticed Ukyou's reaction to him. The stares he received made him very nervous for some reason.

"What you want Ranchan?" Ukyou asked.

"Gimme a Pork Okonomiyaki." He replied.

"Sure sugar. So, where’ve been?"

"I went back to the cursed springs. Hoped the guide may have had news about a cure. He told me there wasn’t any cures available for the spring of drowned girl right now."

"I’m sorry, it’s okay though. You don’t need a cure."

"Yeah, I don’t need a cure. I want a cure!" He came extremely close to yelling. He began again with a lower volume. "You don’t realize how much of a living hell my life has become since I got cursed. All the pain of having people like Kunou and Happosai try to glomp me. But it’s time I started to think about the fact that there may not be a cure. Maybe I’ve been cursed for a reason, and until I’ve finished it I can’t be cured. It’d explain all the times they failed." He got up, and started towards the door.

"What about your lunch?" Ukyou asked, shocked at Ranma passing up food.

"I’m not hungry anymore. I’ve got some things I’ve got to take care of." He responded, continuing his walk.

"Okay Ranchan, if you come back tomorrow we can talk."

"I'll see you later." He told her as he got to the door. He slowly left the shop, looking back as he exited.

Ranma felt someone following him as he left Ucchan's.

He decided to wander for a bit, so he could throw off whoever was following him. He walked for hours, not really stopping anywhere. When he found himself near the dojo, he decided to lose his pursuer. Darting into an alley, he stopped and pulled something out of his pocket. Suddenly there was a faint shimmering, like a wave of heat in front of him.

================================================

Ukyou hadn't seen him that depressed since the last time his

mother had come to visit. He had locked himself in his room for hours, and when he finally came out his eyes were red and puffy. He drug his father into the dojo and gave him a beating that kept him from sparring for a week. She decided to visit him after closing to see what the matter was. "Heh, most likely Akane bashed him again for no good reason." she thought, "She doesn’t deserve him. Oh, when will Ranchan realize I’m the best choice for him...." She trailed off, not noticing the figure following Ranma.(2)

================================================

Akane followed Ranma from the Dojo around Nerima. He wasn't acting like himself and she felt it was best to watch him for the afternoon. She stayed a half block behind, occasionally stopping behind a fence or a lamp post as he stopped and looked around. She suppressed a need to mallet him when he entered Ukyou's shop, reminding herself that something was wrong with him. She returned to her trailing of him as he left the shop, growing frustrated as he wandered almost aimlessly around the district before heading back towards the dojo. She was surprised when he

ran into the blind alley. She stood, watching the alley for a minute.

When he didn't come back out, she ran in herself. She entered and found, nothing. The alley was empty, no Ranma, no exit. She took a quick look up towards the sky, and found nothing. It was as if he had vanished into thin air. "Where did he go?" She asked no one in particular.

================================================

"I'm home!" Akane called as she entered the house. While taking off her shoes she noticed a pair she had never seen before. "We must have a guest. I wonder who it is." Entering the living room, she saw a young man sitting at the table.

"Ah, welcome home Akane." Kasumi greeted as she left the kitchen with a tray of snacks and tea. "This is a friend of Ranma's."

"Ah, Akane. Ranma's told me a lot about you." He grinned. My names Gary." Akane looked the young man over, he seemed to be a bit older than Ranma and a bit taller, slim with short blond hair and flint gray eyes. He was dressed quite casually, jeans and a black T-shirt. He didn’t seem like the type of person who Ranma normally hung out with. He didn’t stand like a martial artist, and he seemed to radiate calmness. Anyone who knew Ranma as a friend didn’t feel very calm. She came to the conclusion he was a fraud.

"Nice to meet you Gary." Akane greeted him, hiding her suspicion. "So, where do you know Ranma from?"

End part one

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Thanks to Frank Sanchez for prereading and editing this part. Well, he read the original. This version has changed a lot since the first draft. Mostly the dialogue, the plot has not changed much. Excuse me for the bad grammar and sometimes cryptic writing. My ideal writing times are between 9:00pm and 2:00 am so I’m not always coherent while writing.

<> English Dialogue.

{} Chinese Dialogue

[] Panda Signs

(2) Forgive me for bit of mystery, indulge me and you'll like the story a lot more.

1st Draft 5/14/98 - 5/17/98

Currant Revision 10/20/98